Fridays are for Newspaper Articles

You probably already know the drill, but I still should credit the Canyon Lake (TX) Times-Guardian, which is nice enough to let me do double duty with my weekly article:

                                   “Denial” 

            As the joke goes, denial is not just a river in Egypt.  No, it is an ugly reality in the lives of many people.

            From time to time, I have to deal with people who remind me of points in my own life in which I was in denial—sometimes very deep denial.  It is sad to see them, in many cases, making the same exact kinds of mistakes that I have in the past.  However, with rare exceptions, it seems that people have to learn the hard way in regard to denial: they have to suffer enough to choose to face reality.

            For some of you, this may be the first time you have ever read anything dealing with denial.  If so, perhaps it will be helpful to stop here for some defining and explaining in regard to what we are talking about here.

            In wider discussions, “denial” became an object of significant interest in dealing with the stages of grief back in the 1960s and ‘70s.  As the immediate shock of a setback, tragedy or loss lessens, many people remain “in denial.”  In other words, they just can’t believe that whatever it was actually happened.  They simply can’t come to grips with the event and its consequences.

            For an example from my life, my toddler son was in the bathtub and I turned away for a few seconds to get a towel from a cabinet about six feet away from where I had been sitting, giving him his bath.  In that split second, he pulled himself up and managed to cut off the cold water.  When he did, the remaining scalding hot water caused very serious burns on his abdomen and groin areas.

            Of course, I immediately got him to the hospital.  But, while my wife stayed by his side, I went outside and paced the halls, saying over and over, “I can’t believe this happened.”  And, for a stretch of several hours, my brain basically refused to accept that reality.

            I did, however, soon come to grips with that tragedy—which the Lord graciously healed overnight, much to the shock of the doctors (and somewhat to the shame of my wife and I, who prayed, but really didn’t believe very strongly that it would happen!).  But, I have not always been able to work through the denial anywhere near that quickly.

            Let’s face it—and that is what we need to do: face things realistically!—it is far from easy, and often very painful, to face those events in our lives that represent our most disturbing or disappointing mistakes or losses.  But, we have to do it.  What kind of life is it to try to keep living as if everything is the way it was before the disaster?  A life of untruth, to say the least, not to mention a life that will never be that way again, no matter how badly we want it to be or how desperately we want to avoid admitting what has happened.

            Hey, I’m not that good at dealing with denial, but I am getting better.  One of the things that has helped me greatly is to realize and experience that the pain of facing the reality will not kill you.  It will hurt very deeply, but it will subside.  Then, you will be able to move on—something that cannot happen until you choose to face the reality that confronts you.

            Denial can be present in our lives in regard to an almost endless array of issues and losses.  However, as I conclude this article, I would like to speak to one of the most classic aspects of denial of the human race in general: the denial of sin and its consequences.

            You see, the Bible clearly says “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).  Thus, with the exception of Jesus, the sinless God become man, we are all guilty before God.  The even worse news is “The wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23a), though the related good news is “but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord” (6:23b).

            Don’t let your prideful denial of your sin and its eternal consequences—death and separation from God forever—stop you from receiving Jesus Christ by faith.  Unlike many other denial situations, there is light at the end of this tunnel: eternal life!

Coming Monday: “Concluding Reflections on Love and the Exercise of Spiritual Gifts” (1 Cor. 13:1-7)